Salutation!!!! I'm a blogging virgin, so if I'm not doing this right, ummm.... Well don't throw me under the bus!! A more attractive alternative for the both of us would be that you GET OVER IT!! That being said, I just figured that a proper introduction would be the appropriate first step?? Sooo, My name is Melissa, but you can call me Lil Miss Can't Be Wrong....  That title is laughable at best, but humors me for now and we will get to the absurdity of it all later. How the hell are yam?? I'm pretty darn good at the moment.  Well, since you are a futuristic figure of my vain imagination, I am going to assume that you would reply with a thoughtless fine, which I would promptly disregard as is the standard in our lovely American greeting rituals and continue on with my current agenda. What is that, you ask?? Well actually you didn't and it's a good thing too, cuz I was gonna tell you anyway. Betcha didn't see that one coming?? Without further ado and now that we have stumbled through the pleasantries, let's get down to business!! I don't know about you, but I have an amazing gift for giving advice?? No joke!! I'm a real savant of the art. Anyone can come to me anytime; anyplace, and with any problem and I will know EXACTLY what should be done. No need for a psychic friend or therapist, cuz I got you covered. Sound Familiar?? I'm especially adept at providing myself with the highest level of pristine guidance and counsel myself in frequent and regular intervals. It's pretty amazing too as I save myself tons of money, cuz I work pro bono!! I'm a real philanthropist, as you can undoubtedly see.  At this point you're thinking that all this is wonderful and wondering when I will be appearing on Oprah, right?? Not so fast!! Get overly glorified visions of book signings and promotional appearances out of your head this instant!! Oh, sorry I apologize, that was me, Ooops!! Well anyway all of this splendid talent and insight has done me no good, I'm sorry to announce. So why am I not helping the masses and saving the world?? I have a disease that has severely stunted my self-help guru potential and you may have heard of, it's called dotheoppositeidis. For a very long time I thought I was the only one, as the symptoms are slow and virtually unnoticeable until BAM you are infected with the full blown case. This is a vicious and crippling disease and the worst part is that infects the population in such high percentages, that formal studies and accurate statistics are IMPOSSIBLE to research. It is a MONSTER of Pandemic proportions and I suspect the number 1 cause of death to the human dream WORLDWIDE!!